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  • Writer's pictureTJ

3 Ways To Keep The Fire Burning

After the newness or honeymoon stage of marriage things can get quite mundane IF you're not careful. It's a mistake we see fairly often in couples. You spend so much time focused on building a family or building your career that when the kids arrive or the career takes off, life begins to happen. You both get incredibly busy and routines put you both in a space of predictability. And over time, the fire burns out.

So how can you either avoid this monotonous season or find your way back to the fire? Here are 3 helpful ways to keep the sizzle in your marriage.

  1. Consistently find new ways to love your spouse in THEIR love language. Tip: you can't do this unless you know what your spouse's love language is! For instance, I know that David's primary love language is physical touch so in order for him to really feel loved, desired or appreciated, I have to do something physical. And, when I do, it means a lot to him. Consistently finding new ways to love your spouse in his or her love language will definitely keep the fire nice and hot. If you don't know what your spouses love language is, or yours for that matter, download our free printable and take the 5 Love Languages Test here.

  2. Implement Date Night. David and I swear by date nights. Our pre pregnancy extended date nights were EVERYTHING. But even if you can't or would rather not go out or do an overnight date due to COVID-19, you can still plan an at home date night that is equally as effective at helping to keep the sizzle in your marriage. We highly recommend playing a game. Games are a great way to keep things light and fun. Think, Uno, Phase 10, Twister, Heads Up or even a game of pool . They require a lot of engagement which is exactly what you want for a date night. Watching a movie or show is cool but try to do something that requires you to interact with your spouse.

  3. Execute an Intimacy Power Play over a cocktail. For those of you that downloaded our free Intimacy Power Plays guide, go back and reference it! If you missed out on this one we'll let you in on a few Power Plays here. We're currently updating this tool to include even more effective sexual and non sexual intimacy power plays for you so be sure to stay tuned.

    1. Share your favorites. This is a really fun Intimacy Power Play that is highly engaging. David and I showed how we share our favorites in an IGTV episode you can watch here.

    2. Goal set. Spend some time goal setting together. This is a really powerful exercise that is also highly engaging. It gets you talking and puts you on one accord.

These are just a few things you can do to help keep the sizzle in your marriage. The most important thing to remember is that you need to be intentional about it. Fires don't stay lit unless they have something to burn.

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